Ma
Scribing at 11:04 p.m. on 2003-06-16
Well hey there!
You came back! How cool is that?
Well, it's the day before my birthday; or rather, if you wanna get technical, the hour before my birthday. Got an email from a friend of mine the other day saying she couldn't believe I wasn't freaking out.
What's to freak out about? I'm still breathing, so it's all good.
Work was work, of course. We were slow all day then got slammed a couple of hours before I was supposed to jet out. Hung out with a couple of my friends on break and we rehashed the by-now-famous Early Dinner/Late Lunch at the Japanese restaurant. It was one of those 'you kinda had to be there' things so I'll spare you the details.
The husband of my parentally inclined coworker called to wish me a happy pre-birthday and to talk to his wife, the mother of his children. We talked a bit and I filled him in on what they missed and he pointed out that his oldest daughter (she's 2) hadn't had her nap that day, and there would have been a lil 'toddler-shaped cutout in the rice paper door as she bounced right through it.' Whooo. I can about imagine. Everyone quietly agreed that everything pretty much worked out for the best all the way around.
Got a couple of cards - a Father's Day card from one of the students I used to supervise when I worked at the University; she adopted me somewhere along the line, and I pretty much adopted her too. (Although I'm sure her actual birth mother is blissfully unaware that her sweet innocent Vietnamese daughter is running around loose calling some head-shaving, tattooed freak of an italian 'Dad'.) Some things truly ARE better left unsaid, I guess!
The other card was from my Aunt (ooo. I forgot her in the Cast of Characters so I should probably tuck her in there somewhere.) Who, while in her high 80's or somewhere thereabouts, still never forgets my bday. She's also a crazed email junkie, and it took me a little bit of time to convince her that although email truly is MUCH faster than snailmail, it is probably a relatively safe bet that when she hits 'send', it's ok to walk away from the computer as people may not be waiting right there for a missive from her. Bless her heart. I love her dearly.
Drove home from work and there was still a wee bit of light in the sky, and I can live with that. I hate working afternoons; usually by the time I get out it's like 10-11-12 or later. There isn't that feeling of 'ok, I've paid my dues, now I can have the rest of the day to play' any more. Now it's like .. ok. I SURVIVED. Now. Show me a soft place to lay the heck down.
(peering out) (flailing weakly in your direction) And that has NOTHING to do with encroaching old age, do NOT EVEN GO THERE. I SAW that. I SAW what you were thinking. I may be turning to dust before your very eyes, but my senses are STILL ACUTE, I assure you.
(mumble) Smart aleck
(grumblecuss)
Got an email from my ex this afternoon saying she was shocked she hadn't gotten my card in the mail in time, as she is 'usually right on top of things'. I cannot remember a time when a birthday/holiday/sorry about the accidental firebombing of your house card has arrived on time from her, but of course I thought that was yet another thing that was better left unsaid. (There seem to be an increasing amount of those, now that I'm trying to think before I speak. Granted, I had more fun before, but hey .. lots less drama now.) ::grin::
Thinking about my ma tonight, just letting my brain wander around. Thinking she'd probably like the man that I've become, even though it may not have been exactly what she planned for me. Knowing for certain that she'd love my wife. Missing her, kinda. She died 18 years ago this last January, proving that thing she always used to yell at me when she was mad - the old faithful '..you'll miss me when I'm dead!..' Dang. She was right. Who knew?
My ma was cool. She was a poet, a jazz lover, an activist, a mother, a friend. I never heard a single person say a harsh word about her. When she died, the funeral home was -crammed- with people from all different walks of life; folks that she'd touched, folks that she'd taken in when their parents kicked them out (because we always had room for one more), everyone crying or laughing or just talking about her.
She was a good role model.
She taught me to tie my tie, hold the door open for women (not because they couldn't, but because it was the polite thing to do). Walk on the outside so your companion doesn't get splashed if a car goes by. Respect those that deserved it. That it's better to do what's right than to do what you're told. Be fair. Don't hang out with stupid people because then people will think you're stupid too. Listen to Billie Holiday. Don't ever forget where you came from, because chances are pretty good it will shape where you end up. Don't forget to laugh. Find a way.
And so much more.
Yeah. I miss her. She was pretty cool.
Anyway .. I'm outy. You all be careful, and be safe, and I'll catch you tomorrow.
