Cast of Characters
Scribing at 10:48 p.m. on 2003-06-15
Ahhhh so, you've been reading, thinking 'Who ARE these jokers? Who are these random initials he keeps putting in there with no warning?' and a wonderful reviewer pointed out that this was a much needed addition. So here it is, the many and varied miscreants who fill my days and make my life a little more surreal:
My sweet babboo: My wife, of course; I feel badly for you if you haven't been able to figure that out. Wondering in your own way 'gosh, I wonder if his wife knows about this -sweet babboo- person he's been running around with? That poor woman! Someone should tell her!' Well, fear not, gentle reader. She knows. Ohhhhhhh yeahhhhh .. she knows.
The 'sweet babboo' thing was shameless airlifted from Peanuts. She also is featured in guest appearances as my lil camera tripod, cup of cakishness, and a variety of other highly-inappropriate-for-public-consumption pet names.
TT (Trailer Trash) : My erstwhile coworker, and all around source of amusement, shock and horror. I would like to say you just have to experience her to understand and leave it at that; but this is, after all, a cast list.
TT is a woman of indeterminate age (somewhere between high 50's and death) who refuses to release the portion of her life consumed by cursing indiscriminately, listening to heavy metal music, wearing LoneStar tour t-shirts and sweatpants just long enough to come to work. It just isn't worth it to her to compromise herself in such a way, so .. she doesn't. She's also a lawsuit junkie, with 2 to 5 lawsuits against various and sundry local businesses pending at any given time. She brags about mistreating innocent retail personnel. She has an opinion of nearly every ethnic group known to man; and I have yet to hear a good one. My current favorite was just the other day, when describing her neighbors across the street, and how they (in her opinion) mistreat their dog: '..well, though, you know, they're from Saudi Arabia, so they've never had a pet...' Most of these are followed by an arched eyebrow, and a mandatory 'you know how THEY are' conspiratorial look.
She is also given to long, loud, personal conversations on the phone at work, the horror of which, I will spare you. You can thank me later.
May Buddha grant me the inner serenity not to poke her in the eye with a sharp object.
My Brother: Otherwise known hereafter as J. Although he is not my biological brother (I am all about chosen family), we have been friends for a number of years. He is my 'adopted brother', and was my best man at our wedding. We are currently not speaking, much to my chagrin, because of a tale too long to relate here. Hopefully, we will find a way to come to terms with our disagreements and find our way back to being best friends.
My Partner In Crime/Disenchantment: L, and her randomly appearing boyfriend M. L is the sanest of my coworkers, and the one who can be counted on to find a good excuse to flee, snickering, when things take a hellish turn at work. She's smart, funny, and does not deserve to be stuck in the perdition of our employment. She also likes Patti Smith, REM, and a host of other unlikely bands, which is a big plus. She's way cool. This is the woman who turned me on to the fabulous Japanese restaurant in the 6/14 entry, and organized the fieldtrip of the brain-functional coworkers there.
The parental coworker: This is C, and her randomly appearing husband S, who are the parents of the wee offspring also mentioned in the 6/14 entry. A buddy of mine for years, we met in a roleplaying game ages ago, and ended up being friends. She is questing for enlightenment on some fronts, on others she worries not. She is my complete and utter polar opposite in every conceivable way. We often disagree on moral/ethical questions, as well as those of class and race, yet she actually means well deep down; hence our friendship. She is the one who got me the job in the pit of despair, but I've already told her I don't hold her responsible.
My sister: Otherwise known as Evil incarnate, spawn of Reagan, and whatever else occurs to me at the time. Also a J., she is, alas, blood related. The one aberration in my family's quest for goodness, she is even more my polar opposite than C, mentioned above. She hasn't appeared here yet, but she probably will. She was 26 when I was born, and apparently somewhere in her travels sustained a severe blow to the head; since moving to Arizona from the Land O' Sleet, she has done a sharp evasive turn and become A Conservative Republican Racist. (The three most hellish words known to man. I feel bad uttering them aloud.) I look around for the ominous cloud of doom that usually accompanies these words being uttered; it's almost an urban legend .. like turning off the lights and yelling 'Candyman' three times. Trouble usually follows.
My friend, the JGoddess:This woman is an html goddess like you've never seen. She's amazing. I met her here in DL, actually, and I'm -really- glad I did. She got tired of hearing me complain about the lack of good templature for a grown man out there, and designed my layout for me. About half the time she's right inside my head I think, as we're often caught typing the exact same thing at the exact same time. I don't know which of us should be more worried.
RM:The Real Manager where I work, he runs the labs and actually knows what he's doing. Assmonkey's arch nemesis, although Assmonkey doesn't know it.
The Trinity: These are my sanest coworkers, or at least the ones that are so incredibly twisted we understand each other perfectly; the aforementioned L, with my other friends C & V. Unfortunately C has now moved to days like a regular human being, and has been freed from the shackles of working alongside TT, and V is pregnant, and counting off the days until her maternity leave. But while the situation holds, the Trinity they are. Bless their hearts for keeping me sane in the Snake Pit.
I'll add more folks as things come up. Hey, I only just started - can't give the playlist before the characters step on stage, that would take all the fun out of it.
My thanks to Dea for her incredibly helpful suggestions re: form and content, and to my wife for making it happen.
Safe journey to you!
