On The Road With Gnomad, Day 2
Scribing at 1:11 a.m. on 2004-07-30
Welcome back peanuts (and DangerSpouse, not like I'm talking to your rat ass until I get home and can be properly indignant) to Day Two of On The Road With Gnomad - Day 2.
So, can I tell you how much I love this hotel? I love this hotel. I could never work here, because you have to be obsequious to an absolutely breathtaking degree, apparently, to be considered for employment here; but as a guest (courtesy of The Diva's place of employment, because she is a hotshot presenter at the conference here) I am absolutely turgid with appreciation for the fine staff that DOES qualify for employment here.
Take the beautiful, splendid, fabulous woman who answered the phone when I called room service yesterday morning for breakfast. She was fabulous. Beautiful. Splendid. She was so solicitious and servile that I had an erection before I'd even ordered the toast. The other thing I love about this place is that although I definitely don't look like most of the other conference attendees (but we'll get to that in a moment, peanuts) they are no less subservient to me than any other suit and tie conference attendee that proliferates around the place. I love this place. I truly do. *happy sigh* I keep expecting them to slip and say 'Yes, Daddy' or something.
At any rate ..
The Diva came upstairs after getting all registered as a presenter and everything and picking up her snazzy nametag and leather portfolio and all the other assorted conference effluvia,
and walked in with one of those looks like 'oooo. You're going to appreciate THIS ...' which I have learned means .. 'ask me now or I will make you guess until your eyeballs bleed.'
So, yes. I asked. Turns out that downstairs in the same general area as the conference she's presenting to, happens to be the Association for Professional Piercers annual conference. Now .. who would have expected THAT?
So this afternoon I wandered down with her while she scoped out the conference room she'd be in, and we stopped and talked to the woman at the display table for the APP, who happened to be the International Liaison for the APP. Could I BE any more tumescent? I think not. She had mad crazy ink, and piercings, and looked way more interesting to talk to than any of the other very nice table jockeys in the schmoozing area in their nice business casual suits and khakis and things.
Turns out she's got a tattoo/piercing shop in the next town over and told me to come back and she'd give me 'excellent directions' there, for after she was out of here on Friday night. Yeahhhh boyyyyyyyy.
So I'm heading down to her booth tomorrow early to chat her up a bit.
In other interesting news, we were driving around foraging for food tonight (strangely, all the restaurants in town slam shut at an amazingly early hour) and we happened to pass this quaint looking little restaurant off to the side. I looked over, and right there in mad neon lighting was the name of the restaurant, and underneath it, it the same mad neon lighting (but in script, so you shouldn't miss that it's important) was the legend: "Immigrant Italian Dinners"
Now, being Italian, I was instantly fascinated with what on EARTH they might consider constituted Immigrant Italian Dinners', as you can well imagine.
The Diva would not slow down the vehicle to a sufficient degree to afford me egress, and if you ask me she sped up on purpose. So back to the hotel we came, after stopping at a McD's and foraging for food there, and I grabbed the phonebook so that I might ring them and inquire exactly what an immigrant italian dinner was. I was dying to know.
They had a website. I won't post the link here, because .. well .. because. But suffice it to say that there were not only no italians on the 'who we are' corporate type listy thing, but it had every very strange, oft-used stereotype of italians you have ever seen gathered together in one place.
I want to go there for lunch tomorrow. Diva says no, because she 'doesn't have enough money left to bail (me) out.'
Now what kinda attitude is that?
Humpf.
