Five Questions
Scribing at 8:05 a.m. on 2005-03-10
5 questions from UrsaMajor ...
1. If you were the author of that teeny little "Life's Little Instruction Book," what would be your first and foremost Instruction For Life?
I'd probably cop the one great 'sticker truism' or some form thereof; mostly because it's turned out to be right *every single time* ... "If you think you can, or you think you can't .. you're right."
2. When I see that bumper sticker that says, "Unless You Are a Hemorrhoid, Stay Off My Ass," does that not imply that the driver of that car would welcome a hemorrhoid? Why would someone welcome a hemorrhoid?
Hrm. This, I think, is an entirely valid question. Perhaps it smacks more of a proprietary mindset .. perhaps there are already hemorrhoids there, and they are implying they wouldn't notice one more. In which case, how close would you really want to get to their ass, anyway? Or perhaps they are putting forth in their own special way that if they HAVE to have a hemmorrhoid, they might as well have one on their ass, as opposed to say, some other bodily orifice. Don't dwell on that mental image. I always wanted one on the front of my car, printed backwards so the driver ahead could read it, that said 'if you would like to drive the speed limit or better, I wouldn't BE in your ass like this."
3. Do ghosts really exist? Prove it!
Ooo. Define 'prove'. I think they do. Having, in my misspent youth, occupied two different domiciles that I was informed were cohabited by ghosts, and having experienced some very interesting shit that cannot be really explained any other way, I'm inclined to give them a nod. I think there is way more stuff than meets the eye floating around out there, and that covers a lot of different subjects and circumstances.
4. What accomplishment in your life, to date, are you most proud of?
Having the courage/bullheadedness/stupidity to completely and utterly change my life. It cost me nearly every personal relationship I had, but I am healthier now physically and mentally than I ever would have dreamed of. Stepping out of the only life I knew into something completely different was terrifying; but I grew in ways I had never imagined. And I am still alive; far more so than I would have been had I stayed where I was.
5. In the opinion of a professional (that's so cool - you're a professional now!), what is, like, the lamest tattoo EVER?
*snicker*
That's probably the hardest question on here, because it's relentlessly subjective. I think, from my point of view, this question can be answered three ways:
a) ANY tattoo gotten by someone who comes into a shop and says, with their bare face hanging out 'I wanna git a tattoo, but I don't know what I wanna git. What do ya'll think I should git, and where should I git it?'
b) ANY tattoo gotten by someone who walks into a shop and says, with their bare face hanging out 'I got twenty bucks. Whut kin I get fer twenty bucks?'
c) When those barely-just-over-the-legal-tattooing-age-limit couples come in all wonky in lurve and ONE of them (not both) get the other's name tattooed on them somewhere. You know, just looking, that the entire thing will be over in less than six months and they'll be back in, grumpy, wanting you to cover it up.
In general, I always have to bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood when someone gets their sweetheart's name tattooed on them. Unless they're your children or your parents, darlin', there's no guarantees.
Now, if you wanna be cool like me and play Five Questions...
1. Leave me a note, fool! Oh, the note should say something like, "Ask me, ask me, ask me... I wanna play too!"
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog/journal/diary/website with the answers to the questions and leave me a note when you have done so. Link would be appreciated, of course, if you are not a d'lander.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
So there you have it!
Big smooches to UrsaMajor, just on general principles, and because we're gonna see her and OOMA TOMORROW and cuz even if it's not her job to herd idiots she still helped me figure out where I was going and where to park and important stuff like that.
