Is that a light at the end of the tunnel .. or a fast-moving train?
Scribing at 4:08 p.m. on 2005-02-17
It's finally here.
The point in time when I actually step out into the air from the edge of the cliff and find out if there really is magic, or if I end up crumpled at the bottom of the cliff like a piece of questionable art.
I was working at the shop last night, and the Diva had passed the shop and seen my car there and decided to stop in; prior to her arrival Tattoogod and I had been having a discussion about the fact that he's planning to open yet another shop in an adjacent city; and that it's looking like he's going to be ready to go with it by the first week in March. That he wants me there part of the time, here part of the time, or at one of the shops full time, one way or the other. He's been urging me for a little while now to bail on the Snake Pit and come work at the shop full time. This working there plus working the midnight shift at the Snake Pit has been pretty much wearing my old cranky ass out. I am not as spry as I used to be, and my body has been pointing this out to me with some regularity.
My only thing, I told him, was that I had to be absolutely guaranteed that I would make enough money at the shop to replace the income I'd be losing at the Snake Pit; and he basically told me that yes, at this point in my career I definitely could. He said 'you can go full time here as soon as you come tell me you left the other place.'
Apparently, this was the focus of his conversation with the Diva as well, albeit I completely missed that due to handling the customers.
He and I sat down again when she'd left, and discussed the new shop, and how he wanted me there full time; how my skills would be heightened to a dramatic degree by just working there full time, rather than working part time as I have been. Although he doesn't much go in for compliments (this is a profound understatement) he kinda put it out there that he had complete confidence in the fact that not only could I make a living, but a good living; and that I needed to quit the other job and 'get my ass in (here) full time where (i) belong'. He even offered to let me open the shop earlier in the day, to catch the third shift guys coming off who are forever trying to get in and get ink before the regular time the shop opens. Which would actually mean for the first time in literally a couple of years that I'd be home at a semi-decent hour and actually see my wife when she was awake. We could do cool things like sleep at the same time. It boggles the mind.
I got home from the shop to grab something to eat and spend some time with the Diva before I had to trudge out onto the frozen tundra in the middle of the night; and we actually sat down and talked about it.
She said, basically, that if I was ever going to do it, and be ready to get a regular shop job by the time we move to Atlanta, this was it. Because of the reimbursement from the insurance company on her old car, we had managed to actually pay our bills and we were ok, at least for the moment. If I waited, she pointed out, something could change .. another unforeseen disaster could occur and spank our bank account again and I would not be able to part with the guaranteed income that the Snake Pit, while slowly driving me insane by small degrees, provides.
It is that moment.
So, tomorrow, Friday, will be my last day at the Snake Pit. I have been given runway clearance by the wife unit to leave and go work at the shop full time.
I will be ... barely able to fathom this .. down to one job. And ... I will be, for the first time in many, many, many years ... doing something I completely love.
I am terrified and giddy with excitement simultaneously. I have been, some would say, pessimistic about getting excited when it looks like something I truly want to do may be possible. I prefer to think of it as pragmatism, myself. Pessimistic, pragmatic, pick your 'p' word.
But whatever the case may be, the time is here.
