Damnedest thing.
Scribing at 5:34 a.m. on 2004-09-23
And in the 'damndest things I've ever seen' department ....
I'm driving home from work this morning; my mind running over some recent roleplaying and I looked up and noticed there was a semi in front of me. Just a single trailer, but pretty damn big anyway .. and sitting at the light. I pulled into the next lane to pass him since I noticed the light was probably going to turn green by the time I got there; and that's when I noticed something else about the trailer. It was smoking.
I'm not talking about little wispy trails of road shmutz, I'm talking about smoking .. as in vast amounts of smoke were billowing out from the trailer. I slammed on my brakes but just then he pulled away from the light, and I noticed the wind was carrying the conflagration-like billows of smoke behind him, away from the cab. But the entire trailer from about midpoint back was .. well, smoking.
I started honking my horn, trying to get his attention; I was thinking if I was driving something that appeared to be on fire and didn't know it, I might like it if some passing person would point it out to me so that I could stop somewhere convenient and oh, I don't know .. run for my fucking life, or something, before it blew up.
I've seen Thelma & Louise. A trailer truck blowing up ain't pretty.
Well, on he drove. I guess he thought I was some bald-headed tattoo-havin' maniac that flags down truckers at 5 o'clock in the morning and eats their eyeballs or something. Yeah, whizbang, I'm a fuckin' urban legend, awright? I'm trying to perhaps save your scroungy ass, wanna roll down your window and at least let me scream this atcha?
He didn't. He made me chase his dumb ass for almost a mile and a half past where I usually turn to go home. Finally he had to stop for a red light so I jumped out of my car and yelled that his trailer was smoking. Like, a lot. He looks out the window at the smoke which is now starting to resemble the special effects at a Phantom Of The Opera production, and then looks back at me; shrugs and says 'oh yeah. I think one of my brakes is going out. You know where *insert name of street he was driving around in a smoking truck looking for* is?'
I blinked.
I told him no, sorry, I wasn't familiar with that street. But .. *gesturing toward the holocaust that was becoming the back of the truck* he might wanna get that looked at. The smell of something that wasn't supposed to be burning but surely seemed to be was enough to make you gag. And excuse me, did you say (very casually) that you think your BRAKES are going out? Had you perhaps entertained the notion of, oh I don't know .. STOPPING THE TRUCK?
Nahhhh.
The light turned green, he shrugged at me again and pulled off, smoke surrounding the entire trailer now and billowing in all directions, down the road. I was more than pleased to be turning around and driving in the other direction to get on home.
You just never know, peanuts.
You just never know.
