hey! who pissed in my wheaties, goddamnit?
Scribing at 5:30 a.m. on 2004-08-28
so, like .. you ever have one of those moments where you're listening to someone talk, and all of a sudden you really truly just want them to stop immediately, rewind the last three really stupid things they said and just either start over or shut up completely?
i had one of those nights tonight.
see, there's this new guy at the snake pit. we were originally told he was TT's bus buddy; but it later came to light that he was hired because his pastor happens to be a bigwig at one of our very largest client's businesses. mr bigshot called after fb3 (that's him, yanno) interviewed, mentioned that he was a dear parish member, and he'd very much like to see him working at our fine establishment. and the snake pit called him the next day and said 'when can you start?' well. he was explaining to me the other night when that annoying song 'candle in the wind' came on, that 'that was the saddest day of my life', and i'm thinking .. dude. wtf? princess diana getting smeared was the saddest day of your life? and then he says '..the day elton john came out as queer. that was the saddest day of my life. i used to be such a huge fan; but you know .. i can't support THAT. i can't even listen to his music any more.'.
*BLINK*.
turns out there's more to fb3 than meets the eye.
he will *volunteer* things to make you annoyed. so i'm standing there looking at this huge sea of work. he tells me rather than actually DOING any of it, he's been elsewhere, doing other things, because he was tired. so i'm trying to sort all the crap by time order, and he starts 'sharing' with me that he's been coming up with nicknames for everyone where we work. i didn't think too much about it. but then he started telling me what they were. and i swear to god, i'm not making this up. there's a tall black guy that works there; fb3 has started calling him 'jamaica'. yeah. like the movie, he says, with this look like i should fucking know what he's talking about. i am still standing there thinking .. 'no. you didn't really just say that, did you? seriously?'
then he proceeds to tell me that he calls one of the other guys who happens to be of korean descent 'won ton' .. supposedly because 'he likes noodles, you know. he's an oriental guy'. i'm staring at him by this time, with a look any sane person would certainly recognize as SHUT THE FUCK UP IMMEDIATELY. well. he went on. i don't even wanna think about it. he literally called them this to their faces, and they did not kick his ass. i can't even picture it.
then he pretty much puts out there that i have to drive him home. he's done this to me once before, if you recall. what he's decided, now, is that he can just pass on the other rides he's offered, and =i= will drive him home from now on. the guy's on fucking crack if he thinks this love affair is getting off the ground. probably not coincidentally, the people that WERE driving him home happened to be 'jamaica' and 'won ton'. i was not surprised to see his ass sitting in my area when i got in to work tonight; especially after he told me about his nickname spree.
did i drive him home? yes. immediately. i basically told him to pick up his shit and punch out and i would drive him home right then; because i knew if he kept talking i would punch him square in the nose and probably get fired. so we're about halfway to his house, and he's babbling, which he seems to do a lot. then he tells me he's having a 'bush party' .. and i'm thinking .. do i want to know? please god .. no, no i don't. but he tells me anyway. he launches into this thing about how during the republican frickin' national convention they're going to broadcast 'bush parties' .. and if your little party is chosen, they will broadcast your stupid republican ass all over national tv to prove that not EVERYONE IN AMERICA is wise to his shit yet.
and he's all excited. he's hoping that his little bush party will be chosen.
luckily, we were right in front of his house when he told me this .. so when i slammed on the brakes, got out, opened my door and threw him out of my fucking car he didn't have far to walk.
*banging head on desk*
why.
me.
?
it's not bad enough i have to work with the freak that's been my arch nemesis for nearly two years; now there's a NEW freak, who's decided i'm fucking cool, and we're going to be pals. WHY????
i must have some major fucking karma to pay off or something.
